"Some women don't ask for land, or gold. Just the man."  ~Nynaeve al'Maera

I used to just dismiss Nynaeve.  I could never see what Lan saw in her, but thinking back, they have a lot in common....

  • From the beginning of the series, Nynaeve and Lan have both been fighting uphill battles.  For Lan, his cause of fighting the Shadow, even if alone, has never changed, but he has had to give a lot to let himself love.  For Nynaeve, her battle has gone from returning Rand, Mat, Egwene, and Perrin safely to Emond's field to also fighting the Shadow in her most effective form: an Aes Sedai.
  • Both characters are fierce.  Lan would never be suited by someone like an older version of Elayne; he would prefer someone such as Nynaeve, who can adapt to ruggedness and face the Forsaken no matter how terrified she is.  Similarly, Nynaeve would never be content with a simple man.  As she said, Wisdoms seldom marry, and she probably had no intention of marrying until she met Lan.  Nynaeve needs a man that is as brave as she is, and one whom she can draw strength from loving.
  • Nynaeve needs a man who can knock some sense into her without actually hurting or abusing her (she would run or use the Power against him, with the amount of bravery that she forces herself to have through it all).  Lan has the ability to make concrete sense, and knows when to answer her nagging or complaints with a kiss that will stop her for hours.  Likewise, Lan must have someone that can be emotionally expressive and foreceful.
  • Lan and Nynaeve are both very committed people.  Not only are they committed to their causes, they are committed to each other.  When they are apart, Nynaeve thinks about Lan's loyalty but would never question it, and her interior monologues prove that she know's he is one of the most loyal people in the books.  I regret not seeing more interior monologue from Lan, however, it adds to his mystery.  Perhaps it is more interesting and challenging for Jordan to write from the female perspective, and perhaps he thinks that Lan is often direct and simply muses on things rather than thinking them through emotionally.
  • Both need someone who can accept the other's occupation in life.  Few men would love a woman, no matter how beautiful or ageless, if he knew that she intended to become Aes Sedai.  Few women would love a man so committed to battle and warfare, or a man with any connection to Aes Sedai, such as a Warder like Lan has.
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