Namesakes
 

The melody spoke melting
And I wonder if we did before

You didn't expect it to end,
I'm changing sides, you see,
I'm your friend
And he is past forgotten!

The melody spoke mourning
And I wonder if we did before

You couldn't expect him to hold on,
He was so sad, and loved the theatre
More than you.

My guitar was never named properly.
He bent the strings with affection but I knew
That namesakes lead to tragedy.
 
 

Plain

The radiator dust burns like
Nature's wood perfume and I'm warmed.
I can only reassure myself so much that the
Papers won't catch fire
And my skirt won't catch in the wheel-
The sacrifices of living as I do
But choices have I not because when I stand
nakedly
I am so plain.
 
 

Princess Child

I was treated like a
fairy princess child
And so content in my ballet shoes
To dance around you,
I'd dance light foot,
Even though I swore I couldn't
(being better off my feet of course,
I mean
At a desk, composing a poem)
What did you think?
 
 
 

Winter Room

Peeling a book from your shelf,
With permisson,
I want to swear to you that I'm so
gentle with the pages.

Dabbling in paint from your canvass rejected,
With indecision,
I want to swear that blue is beautiful
and gentle with our eyes.

Outside there is a metal cage that I have never seen before and
I wonder if the suicide ghost girl curls around that stone at night
And peers at me, we both being hopeless sometimes
But I, being serene, really do not see
But a warmed nickname in an elder winter room.
 
 
 

Witch

So you were a witch
But I'm the dove and I'm not out of
The Crucible to drive you mad
Or away from home or love but
Someone's hurting you and you have to pick up
Or die and I won't remain indifferent
To watch time decide
Naturelessly.
 
 

From Virginia

I stopped thinking about how
Beautiful our children would be.
I no longer wish for you
And I try not to dwell on your own wooded sorrows,
Guarded by your twenty minute car ride distance.
Yes, children with your heavy eyes and shouldered sadness;
Too much for young souls and I want a father that won't
Overpower baby deserved innocence
With your old maps and racecars and
Mysterious car tags. You're just
From Virginia like anyone else that's just
From Virginia.
 
 

You Fix and Heal

You should own a farm house.
A well loved big old fix-er-upper.
I'd make the dinners and admire
Your handiwork,
Fixing like a carpenter, strong armed,
And healing like a broad hearted doctor
home,air,care.
 
 

In The Business

I've been on hold
a very selfish hold
but my mother was a telephone operator so
I know about being on hold.
She said if someone's distracted it's not always
their fault.
That's how it works
In the business
of

---
 
 

Letter about delay

I want to write you a letter
About this timely delay.
Your restricting words entrap him causing rain
and I don't think he's ashamed of rain but
you have to let it stop sometime because
his floodgates are organic, human tissue, like the heart
that you never let me warm so
I want to write you a letter
About this timely delay but
You're like Jason and I know what you both think of half decent
Art and poetry.
 
 
 

A Blanket of Songs

I wanted to reach across the sea
Or grounds before to excercise my
Tender capabilities.
Those known,
Know this:
If I could write a thousand songs I'd
Weave them into a blanket
(If I could weave) and
Send them to your room,
which always sounds so chilly,
As comfort.
 
 

I Am Woman, I Am Shit

It always went beyond Paul McCartney's
"Let me love you" line
and here I sit with submissive advice
just like a good girl should.
You can't be a doctor because your
Hand is unsteady but you want to
run it over her rounded figure,
her much-usedbymenbody.
My apathetic jealousy wouldn't move you anyway,
At least not since you
Laughed at my song.
I hate this
I hate everything written
About you!

It always went beyond Paul McCartney's
"Let me roll it" line.
I might change me,
For a date.
calmabercrombiesubmissive
And I'll try not to stay that way
For you,
but since I feel some
level of your hurt,
And burden it with pride and envy,
I deserve the fun of dating the tall
Blond haired man that
Always walks around
Alone.
 
 
 

I Wear Skirts And I Will Get Laid Eventually Before Some Sailor Does It For Me

There's all that
feminist literature about
evil skirt wearing and
voting for people that
can't make a difference.
I should feel no guilt though,
for one day with ten dates.
I should feel no guilt though,
When I admit that I masturbate.
Somehow I'm raw, I'm wrong, I'm trusting
Whoever took the time to think that I might
Be more as
a simple, mother
song.
 
 

Feed

Some days I want to eat for
hours and extract the energy
pack it up and send it in a CARE
package to you but
Every few days my body aches and
quivers morning to night with the
want of you and nobody else
-flourishing
from eyes to knees thinking of how you could
nourish me.
 
 

Money

I stopped being a customer and I
Learned about being a consumer
and a woman or a
minority or a scared little kid licking
ice cream in front of a TV.
I never questioned silence
And I've never seen the moon
Rise.
 
 

Temptress

I could be a temptress
With a cool fan breeze andwindow
Dim light
Caused by Christmas tree lights and
Dreamy stars that I tend to glance at and think
Of how you'd think them so girly
And the water sun curtains made of dye
And fairy wand, remnant of who I was for a day,
Who I wanted to be-
The multiple candles would make you swell
I hope
With tears and lust
to sound.
 
 

The Englishman

Plays in the quad
With an attitude and spiky hair
Real baggy pants I wonder how
Offensive he wants to be when I ask him
To say a word or two, just to say them,
And his anger would wash like the rain
The illusion of happiness because I'm not
His and he knows.
 
 

Political Protest Song
I'd like to share the lyrics to a song I wrote a few weeks ago:

Hey kids!
The word of the day is perjorative!
Hey kids!
The word of the day is egregious!

Just because my name's Al doesn't mean I'm not altruistic!
Hey kids!
I had to sell my last oil company to keep the soft money
rolling in.
When the mud's a-slingin'
And shove comes to push
I just want you to know
At least I'm not George Bush!

I'm not hiding anything
Bout the Dick and Bush campaign
We just get on the tour bus
And we do it
Again and
Again.
Hey kids!
I want you to know I'm not a sinner anymore
My last vial of cocaine fell to the floor.
I'll help you if you're rich,
But go FUCK yourself if you're poor
Hey, I party! So at least I'm
Not Al Gore.

The word of the day is negative campaign ads.
They won't let Nader in the door.
If we can't listen to what he has to say
We'll vote Nader anyway:
At least he's not Bush or Gore!
 
 
 

untitled

I wanted to write something poetic but it comes down to
falling too deep
Before you get drunk
And kicking yourself in the ass
For making up words like
Genuinity
And then trying to live by them
In your landscape and mine.
I called someone over for a kiss
To seal a date,
But I kicked him out and drank like hell
Then broke the seal, you know,
Pissed real good, I said
Take a leak, self referral
And I see why drunk people make
rambling pity their child.
 
 

untitled 2
 

I stopped depending on the stop signs sail
right through-
d my mind to the sparkly dimensions of
Ghost pianos and
Levine Hall.
I had the dream that supposedly
Women have about him falling into bed and like a protective
Father bird folding winged arms and
Crying silently to me and I need to
Let go
?
 
 

Games

You like sports.
Chessmaster,
King of the spares
And all the home runs.
Put me up to bat or
Trade me because I won't be paid
For a disservice.
Slap me with your glove then kiss me
Dirty centerfield,
Or send me home crying
Someday.
 
 
 

You Pull, I'll Hang

Somebody told me that you were
Stringing me along.
To my mind came an image of
A rope, you pulling a rope
Surely and strongly and
Pulling my weight,
Ruining my voice
As the rope scratchy slid out of me
Like the shitty poetry that I'm worth,
You would not let me
Love or
Scream at
Pain.
I'm being strung along,
Can I hang myself with
the rope?
 
 
 

Addicted

I never started smoking
So I never quit,
For the same reason,
I never quit cocaine.
Caffeine I control in the bloodstream,
With love,
But now I'm addicted-
Should I quit?
 
 
 

With Silence

Men always answer with silence.
I love you.
Silence. That means no.
I miss you.
I miss you too. That means I'm forced to repeat you.
Did you know how wonderful you are?
No, it's nothing. That means yes.
Men always answer with silence.
Talk. We need speech?
Silence.
 
 
 

Living in Reiki

You're still soaking up her water
With mine
The way you can dry out souls and
Eyes. Did you know that now you're the
only one I don't
see?
 
 
 

Changing Religions

I want to take my trip somewhere across
The world
isn't big enough to love the
Maharishi
But I'm searching for something and I won't
Go to hell for it just because I failed to
Believe in love.
 
 

Flight of Distance

And so you've come
To comfort me
Laying on my bed you
Feel that you can hold me
And you feel the right to
Touch me, my friend
We were both wounded today
So fly and keep your distance.
 
 

I Won't Be Left

I won't be left
So I'll be leaving
Now and you've stopped
Borrowing tears. I hate the
Invitation you tried to
Politely decline and the thirty
Dirty dollars I spent so sure that I'd
See you for Christmas. I was through with
Actors, but never through with stars because
That's what I purchased, the unframed version:
"To [you] for his courage and conviction.
Love,
Echo."
It's time to light the candles and pretend I'm not
alone again.
It's time for women's issues and being strong and really just
hiding. I won't be left so I'll
be leaving now.
 
 

Superior

You've surely run to her again
By now because as
Good as you are
At putting me
Down and
Making
me
di
s
appear,
She was
Always the
Superior ! ! !
 
 

The Bachelorette Pad

Is this groovy place that
Jackie helped me make to maybe
Win you over.
But no. Now it's here to scare and
Snare men who intended just to
Frighten me into something,
Into the care that they can't ask for
From all those girls whose names end
So symbolically in "i,"
And there they are,
They'd be good friends those two men,
Pushing their loved ones swiftly on a swing of
Content.
What's that? Rain?
Nope, it's angel piss,
Dawning from the sky.
If you only knew how innocent I felt
today!
 
 

The Curiosity of the Alphas

The fraternity got curious
At the way the airplane dashed drunkenly
Across slate sky.
The fraternity got curious
About the girl with the lights on and wondered
Why they blinked
And where she was
And they invited her to a party that she
Didn't go to because she was
Not used to the embraces
And didn't want to hear about what went on at the
Theater today.
But she should have gone
Because they're not going to watch her drown
In the misery of loving someone
Who loves only someone else.
So much for the two of us being
vocally united in
hating or loving love.
 
 

Addictive Jon - like Solitude

If love is more addictive than
solid cold ginger ale,
I'm sure my songs could sell more copies than your
prostituted asses on the street.
Don't take any of this personally.
I don't anymore, remember?
I'm a rejected piece of shit again
And I won't be addictive.
I am not submissive.
I'm an angry child and you didn't just take my brownie,
You split it, shit it, and ate it
In that order.

Billy always tells me I love the cowards who never
Express what they feel.
Maybe he means I'm hard to love.
The only thing I take personally now
Is my wonderful concept of naive
Togetherness,
Now that I see who's really together.

So bottle yourselves.
Sell each other.
Fuck yourselves
And I'm beyond misinterpretation anymore.

Surprise me someday with flowers that
Match a heart,
Scared white with no roots
Taken from a graveyard that was
Raped by a giant.

I'm no longer clay.
No longer weak.

Just alone
and crossing my arms.

And now I understand Jon.
I'll shut myself in forever
And half study
Half care,
Until someone dies enough
For someone else to be there!!!
 
 

Mention

Does she know about you
Knowing everything about me?
Does she know about those few times
I appeared in your poetry?
Does she know about you in
Someone else's bed?
Maybe someone else should mention it
Instead.
 
 
 

Unwanted Reflections

I watch them not want me
As I watch myself in the mirror.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall
Who's the most naive
Fucker of all?
Everything fell down.
My lights and mirror and soon my door.
Thanks for holding on to her.
Maybe I wasn't yours, but I do know
I'm not yours anymore!
 
 

Matches For Quits

It's cute how you two
Always matched
And now as you write
Poetic triumphs in my favor,
You still match
And I can sing but
I'm not blind.
Not illiterate.
I will quit as soon as I can
Find the courage to
Tell him why.
 
 

Afterthought

I should have been calm
And thought all along
That you use me for art,
I use you for song.
That would be a lie.
The drunk people in the hall.
Your goodnight.
Some list.
 
 

untitled 3

You said goodnight.
I watch what I wrote an hour ago
And all I really meant to say was that
I'm not used to playing second best to
Someone so cruel.
I guess you guys are talking about
Leaving me somewhere or maybe when it
ends
It's not about me at all.
We've all lost
We all have fog
 

Beauty

Beauty and I always struggled
Not like Vietnam but like
Chess,
Or a yin yang,
But I wanted first place, like
Yin.
I lost my intelligence today,
My weapon sank into
Musical notes and AP
English words that don't
Mean anything.
On grounds of dysfunction,
I am stupid
And I hated Beauty
Which now
eludes me.
 
 
 

So He's Got Brains

This ordinary fellow with
Bass voice
(he tries too hard)
An actor
(he fits in)
A pattern
(like a dress shirt, only
just pocket protectors;
he graduated from them
recently).
I hope he isn't lonely.
Lonely people make me
Lonely,
And I don't want their
negative company
Anymore.
 
 

Criteria

No freshmen
Or 5th year seniors.
NRNA:
No Republicans Need Apply.
Must sing,
Must tolerate
And cannot drink in excess.
Must be or love DRAMA!
but never be aroused over
Curiosity out of
Bed.
Must love cuddling,
hand holding and
Ice cream.
Must like animals.
Must like
me.
 
 
 

I don't like threesomes

I miss the instant connection
Or the unsaid but felt erection and the
Time we drove for icees
And when you let me cry-
You let me write your lullaby.
I hate all the reminders
Of how we used to be
Because we are so different-
You, him and me.
 
 

You Were

You were the one I imagined
In a towel or on a
Swingset like a boy
Doing flips, making tricks.
You made tricks.
 
 

I Was

I was
Innocent for about a day
Because she must have worn away the faces
That women wear to be little girls,
And the peace signs strut like corporate curls,
So I'm going to grow my hair out
For me.
 
 
 

Gypsy Rose

Gypsy Rose came in the mail today and it smelled like
Imagined Stevie Nicks incense-
I wanted to wear her perfume for you until I
wore your sweat-
I frantically searched for your order,
dehumanizing the male models in your
size.
And all the want disappeared with a textured twinge of
Corduroy.
 
 
 

Smiley Faces

Pull down script list of
Smiley faces-
If I sent them all to you in one note,
I guess you'd be less confused for the
Anger and the joy and the thrill and the
hurt.
No roller coasters-
Just coal mines wracked with those unstable carts
And dead canaries and you
Calling me back into the light
As I flee,
Childless, motherless
victim of night.
 
 
 

Broken Joni Record

That song I used to hear,
cheesy jazz,
and think of you:
"Help me, I think I'm falling
In love again."
The day that I sang it from my new
window and the sheep wanted to look up
Because they loved my protest and
The actors did and-
I wanted to fall,
Defenestrated,
Into a pool of love.
A trip without acid.
 
 
 

American Pied Churchbells

"The churchbells all were broken."
Choir boy stopped singing.
The actor made no appearances.
The ship sailing across the street made us
Sad Yesterday.
Yesterday.
 
 
 

Here and There

Numb,
like a serial killer
out to hunt more.
Gone,
like Sade time bomb
out for a whore.
Here,
like a painting
denting your wall
There
as red riding hood
kicking God's call.
 
 
 

Hate Me

You know, honey,
It's an ass-kicking,
knife in the heart
kind of thing.
I'll walk away so
My back is bare for your
Knife's nonsexual
Plunge.
It would be easier to
hate me.
 
 
 

Armageddon of Satire

I'm believing in you
Because Other than you
I've stopped believing in
Humanity
the way people kill, like and molest
hearts,
but only after raping and ravaging them
as in an
Armageddon
of satire.
 
 
 

Sleeping

The mountain was crying no matter
How strong he tried to be and
Holding onto a tree against chainsaw
Grew tall
and less important than
sleeping campout on the
Rocky face.
 
 
 

Summons

Loving Paul McCartney
And remembering Kent State
Are easy ways to avoid anger
And summon passion-
He may love me for it.
 
 

The Status of the United States of America

In fact,
I fell in love with Ireland and
Something left to fight for.
Not desperation or
Corporation~
Something left to fight against
Fighting against.
Some exited ego where
Love still exists so
I fell in love with
Ireland.
 
 

Catch-22

The catch is that I never
finished the book because
life keeps pulling me into its
own-
And Michael almost spoiled the ending
But here tonight I see how thankful I am
That things end
when they do and that I'm really not
In love with you.
 
 

Surreal, But Nice

I figured we'd be like out of the movie.
Surreal
But nice
like a portrait of things
that aren't how they're shown
But just to have hope and faith and
even justice in this world
We'd hold on.
 
 

Dear Chris,

It's me
I'm writing again and I'm
On the prowl because of
what women don't do.
I'm liberated and I need a
dancer, or a good singer like you to
Run away for one evening and not
step on my feet
(but that would be cute).
I would be your
center stage.

Love,
Echo
 
 

We've fallen out of peace

We only serve ourselves
We only try to help ourselves
Why can't we help ourselves?

We've fallen out of peace

Guns and bombs we sell each other
War is over we bring them home
Praying to corrupt one another
And wonder why we feel so alone

We've fallen out of peace

This night's just fine for a campfire
But the trees have gone away
All the livign blood is spilt in the street
Even in the light of day

We've fallen out of peace

Love and flow'rs are not all gone now
Sing songs and baby outta sight
If we can't love one another,
You can still hold me tight

We've fallen out of peace.
 
 
 

Said Before

What did someone else say
That hasn't been said before?
Fine -  war is beauty
And I its whore.
Is that trite?
Did any poet sing
That before.
 
 
 

Pointsettia

I want to eat you
And see if you have hallucinatory
effects
But I can't because you're so red
and cheeky like a BRIT
And I'm here for people because
That's what I do!
They don't LOVE me,
Neither of the two!
I swear to shit though,
Plant, I love you.
Just knowing you could take me to deaths
small and large because
Nothing else will and
Nothing matters and
Nothing exists.
 
 
 

Made Me Wait

I'm disappointed again.
This one little time that you
Made me wait and I promised myself
That that was walking through doors of
Summer time-
That waiting and I were through with each other.
I'm disappointed that you asked me to
wait and then came back knocked
off the screen and smoked your
pack.
I told him how fast he should quicken up
Because of her manipulation.
It must have taken the culmination of all the strength in the
World for him not to say:
Look at yourself,
and what you're being put through
and around.

Yeah, they all make me want to get
around.
 
 
 

Leaving

They've all made their own
Jet planes in fear of my
Love and give and want
And fly far away from me,
Past states and phone wires
And intelligence
And decency.
One's probably somewhere up
In the air on a romantic
Hot air balloon ride and the other,
Here in misery just like me with
Face buried in sin disguised as a
breathless computer screen.
 
 

So I Said Hello

You're right,
You don't have to answer I forgot-
You're famous and I'm just
Popular with the company you
Used to keep.
You're right,
Resenting me is a healthy chore like
Choir used to be and no doubt
You know I've moved on to live in the
Same situation.
Why didn't you live with me
at least in forced thought?
 
 
 

Through

You've succeeded
In alienating his world from him
And creating suckling dependence necessary
On your comfort.
You've succeeded
In making him take trips to the convenient store
That last more than a day
And when he comes back
I'm of no concern.
I'll drink hard for my own misgivings and faults,
Because I don't have as many as you;
Not enough to make him love me.
 
 

Mascara

After three days
the rain fell and when she
Came into my room and saw
Me sitting on a wet towel desperate for
An electric chair escape, she nodded at the rainy
drops cascading down my face.
"Mascara and blush?
That's not you."
I'm glad someone noticed and I'm glad it's not because
I Can Be An Actress so that someone
wIll love me
 
 

Unavailable

If I were here, you'd be first on my mind.  If I wanted love, I'd speak to
you.  If you were here, we'd make tea.  If you do drugs, I'll pass the glue.
~I'm not here right now, but it's a trip to leave a message sometimes~
 
 

The Acabelle

Choir girl,
Madrigal,
Acabelle-
How innocent
Does he believe me?
Watching pornographic
films titled under
AVANT GARDE and ArTsY,
La femme, la belle, la bitche-
hard hit and submissive on the floor.
I'm not authoritative,
Merely an author
With no waitressing experience,
Really,
And no carnal pornographic
Reference.
 
 

Winter Sunset

The blame falls upon me like
Whitman during a sunset.
There falls all the love and all the
Rock and roll like pebbles over an iced
Niagra.
Devise ways on maps you'll never draw
And shiver to death on freezing nights,
Because that's all you want from me.
Yeah, I'll light a fire.
I'll burn the sunset down.
 
 

Expletives In Modern English

No more call backs and no more cries,
I'm sick of apologies,
Go fuck your goodbyes.
It took my heart to reach you
Who shoved back shitty lies.
I wanted to use this fucking language
Because it becomes a lady.
And a tramp.
 
 
 

I Am The Introvert

I am the introvert
I am the hurt
I am the sadness
I'm late for work.
You were the dreamer
With paint in your eyes
And now I'm a child-
God bless motherhood.
 
 
 
 

All For Nought

These lists,
"shitty poetry,"
Branded alcohol,
Your sheets
Burned in the wind.
Goodbyes,
Eager solace,
Near comfort,
Dreaded bloodshed
And food that doesn't cook.
Masculinity and
Masturbation, the way you
Never took me seriously until
You started to hate me,
With closure--
So in closing, you're the
Bitterest of memories and if you were a
Candy you'd be chocolate.
But he ate chocolate and he loved me more so
Fly back home, run down south,
Mock yourself home.
I can go back to loving someone
else that left.
 
 
 

Listens

I'm the girl who listens to
Photograph Smile.
The one that's the archetypal
Housewife in tie dye and I look at my curtains and
Think of how I explained to you
Those lights about my room that now feels
Empty and sick and violated and ugly
With you here
Or with you out.
 
 

Matter Of Factly

Michael said that
Verbally abusive men make
Abusive boyfriends.  So I'm glad I can
Still spell respect and I'm glad I can
Still smell shit because
Verbally abusive men make
Abusive boyfriends.
 
 

Bravo

Bravo performance of pretending
Like you cared.
Knowing that you didn't will make you my
spring board.  My boots have heels and I won't disgrace
The ground but you put me down so the heels
love your face.
 
 

The Radio

You say I don't listen and yeah,
I've stopped
Oblivious pawn shop free form
trance in the wind
Dance in the wind
Stopped.
Joni says you turn me on
But i haven't wanted your words
Like a radio
i haven't wanted your eyes
on me.

fade out.
let me roll it.
fade in.
out
again.
 
 

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