Disturbance

I cannot bring myself
To disturb the silence
Of perfection.
Now myself,
I am an unread word,
A glimmer of disturbance
In a bane, parallel landscape,
by which you are a poet.
By which you are an ocean.
From which you breathed
my books and land
Into water
Simmer
Sunset.
I like to watch sunsets alone,
for we never did together.

Helix

Shoelaces,
laundry,
voices,
kisses
and staircases
are violently
torn apart
in the wake
of lust's
rage.

Art History

I want your dependence
and your finish my sentence,
Your nonchalant
appreciation
of my art.
So walk my way
with your perfectly
rounded hat
And see which coward
turns away.

To Show Your Face

To have you here
To show your face
To have your arm beside me
And to sleep in my bed.
To scorn my lover
By being my best friend.

Happy Birthday

Be an angel
You've found God
When are you my angel?
When will you fly back to me?

When the Bells Toll

shows only
your end
to my desire,
lust has resigned;
the cunning hero
About to journey home.

The Rain

At the gazebo
We spun like a carousel
No mist
some myth
Centered around our center.

To Friend

I wonder if your tears are
Raining tonight,
As I remember the day
That I almost died.
It is a short ride to your house.
You turned the air conditioning
up too high.
Were you high?
I watched you kick the bottle aside
As the burning alcohol
cooled my own rain
How I simmered at you.
Finally, like dove's wings
Struggle in the downpour,
I fled.

The Pitiful One

There goes
your pity in
My angry
Uninvited space.
And what was there
That makes you squirm
Like 1000 undetectable nails
Into your changed
And shadowy body?
And yes, I keep some love letters
And the so I don't hate you letters.
Pink and blue for
Girls and Boys.
Things don't cut clear,
When do I get
To trade you in?
Stop your pity
for my inexcusable unease
for the 'you're not a person'
and
'I don't take you seriously.'
Even if I am
A senseless sack
of emotional
shit,
Play me now.
I can never sing.

Knew At All

I see your shadows slip
through my building
sliding like the stealth,
humane person that you aren't,
ripping through the breeze.
And I'm all alone,
And the door is
The damn door is always
I knew some part of you because
of the rain.
And now what are you?
Immortal words?
I miss London.
It is easier to miss a place I loved for four days
Than a man I touched
For four days.

Home

Was London with
comfortable music
    and suitable digs

And Dublin
with heavy Guinness permeating
    traveled streets

And I thought of the states
of United
and mind
    my own war

Until you found my words.
Asked to read, respond.
Now you are home.

I May Now Be Changed

I may now be changed,
But I wanted to be his
innocent.
I missed the soft glances at me
(am I candlelight?)
And harsh glares at him
(dawn to midnight).

As I Am

He wonders how many countries
will make my fondness wash away.
If only I had at first noticed,
been protected and prepared.
It's warm laundry and company
to know he'd take me as I am.
My words as they are,
Gentle cycle and mildly moutherly
to care for his mismatched socks.
My pen is grounded with his care.
We both cried over someone else
yesterday.

It Just Slipped Out

Covered up and tucked under
your drunkenness,
Yet you are my only honesty
You love me, too.

Show

Our show began with thunder
Zeus' alcohol by the
back door cafe
and your drip sweat
fell into the radio
in my car.

In Your Eyes

I felt your hand drop
from mine
And saw hershirt.
No wonder I am nothing
In your eyes.

Clock

When it passed
Ten o'clock,
You asked me to put you to bed.
(Mommy's to put you to bed).
And there, through all intelligence,
Nonchalance and arrogance,
You explained that love couldn't be.
Now I love you
For your honesty.

I Am

The vocalist
In the shower
I did not sing,
Nor did I weep,
Nor shall I weep.

The Existentialist
Who's ever proud
I shall not weep.
"There is no hope."

M

You've returned to me
Eighty lines of words
to worship,
And with those wings
of truth and flighty
Poetry that I bestowed upon
your glance,
Reach down to me
and pull me to embrace.
Though flying far,
Nothing is light for you.

Darkness

    Trails
    As she counts upon strangers,
    Virtual friends
    Truth to be dangers.

Darkness
    Prevails
    As she flaunts bruises and blackness
    Retreating into service, her spirit collapses.

But I am swift, light and naive.

Chanting

Mantra of the trees,
Crumpled decayed leaves
Dished dead forget-me-not
Notes and flower deeds
Now ashes by grain
In the fire cooking food
To feed the seductress in my
Reflection.
My words clearly taunt
Western sin.
I dare not light to burn
the door of disbelief.
Illumination is glory.

Character

All complex
and pretty
shitty plain
Social work.
Not on the wrong side
of the tracks;
She had no tracks to grow up on
So she slinked around your
bed post,
snaking like a vine.
Straddling your nothingness
To beckon circulation.
And when her deliverance
Liberated her hunger,
You lost an emptiness or two.

She Turned

She toured the streets
until dawn
And then she hit the coffee
shops.
And when there were no more
shots of
cappuccino to be had,
She emptied into damp leaves,
Now she is envied by all.

I Waited

I waited for a world of candy,
like children
and sex running
        free and detached.
Ancient texts beheld such wisdom
For I, the romantic idealist,
        Suffer on.

Returning

Our insecurities became nothing
with the manly swing of
the buzzer door.
    Holidays
mean returning
to a home
disjointed.

Stream

never going never going, why'd I leave?  To stay means sex confrontation denial and running forgetting style and pictures provokative sex spread legs where sex goes your sex in my sex when there is no love I still believe the bullshit there should be and where is my f*cking cake?
WIN.

Paris

I let you accompany me so
    that I could be fulfilled.
There was no piano.
We were in a pub,
Blues man.
Black we were sad.
Guitars
Idols
Rock stars.
You waited for the
grill
to char our new season.
 
 

Last Night On The Grass

You would have had your pants torn
And coffee
discussing films
and books
and honeymoons
And how I have idealized you.
Guitars and dreams and
rock and roll stars
Planes to other countries
rides in fast cars.
I'm so afraid
to ask.
 
 

To Friend II

Asking future present
Future perfect?
I'm writing this for you to find
Or for it to find something shiny and damaged
in your body.
I don't want to hurt you,
And no one has ever really hurt me
Because they have never
loved me.
They have never loved me
So when you wonder why
I am so grateful to you,
Without having ever been loved by you,
Ask yourself.

Cried For Someone Else

Moments we've shared
Crouched over my tears
So many times
That you've built me a castle.
And like a girl from the tower
I water a white rose
So that you pick it;
Dewdropped.
All those times over
childish games
and men I'll never have
Will never equate to the single moment
When I cried for someone else.

Innocence Again

I am not the little girl asking why
Or pushing her hand into a basket
Of bitter, unforgiving fruit.
I have loved your utter
Ugliness
Before you knew that light
Could touch it
Because innocence
Was least expected in your arms,
Yet there I lay.
 
 

Fences, Walls, and Women

Fences, walls and women
all appeal to your fancy
but what of my invisible hand
that never captured your pearl?
I saw what there was and what wasn't
From afar, from your touch
In between.
You can't believe that I've accepted.
So once more,
I'm rejected.
 

Nothing will change.
(partly inspired by "Across The Universe" by The Beatles)

Poets dead long gone
Earth torn
Guitar string balanced
They sing
about pasts.
I grasp.
Wondering what changes
I see in your bright eyes,
Energetic but focused
Ringing
on my finger
your lips.

Blankets

Blankets that you still
wrap me in
tears but
loveworn tears.
But my prided
comfort blue and white
wrap of the sea blanket
possesses your scent.
By day it fades,
I wrap myself in it at night,
like a child.
 

Ticketed

In my backyard
I look beyond the window
There are no blue eyes
reflecting back
in the sunrise
but there is
calm
and the quiet that
only the loveless
can view.
Through these times of
quiet, hurt love
and disgusted lust--
I only know that
I want you.