Awkward's Worst Enemy:
Similar Interest Dating

 

 

                   No matter where you search for that hot date or how you go about
                   searching, you're bound to come up with one of those awkward dates.
                   The silent dates, where conversation seems to have vanished into
                   negative space.

                   Finding someone with similar interests has made all of the difference for
                   me. When my boyfriend (of seven months) and I were getting to know
                   each other, there weren't any awkward moments. It seemed easy to
                   maintain an honest relationship, even on our first date. Why was this?
                   What was there, aside from our initial chemistry?

                   Similar interests. My boyfriend is a Music Education major at an arts
                   school, and I'm a Music minor at a liberal arts college. Whenever there
                   was an awkward moment, we'd talk about music. I learned that he
                   enjoyed playing jazz, a style that I knew little about. He learned about my
                   songwriting skills, and about my guitars. Our interest was not exactly the
                   same, but most definitely similar. Because we areto different types
                   of music, we are constantly learning from each other. This has become
                   the secret to a successful relationship for us. If we're out for a long car
                   ride or waiting for a train, we always have something to discuss. Music is
                   also a neutral territory; our beliefs on it differ but not enough that we do
                   more than slightly disagree upon it.

                   This common interest has framed our relationship. We've expanded greatly
                   upon that. When we first met, my boyfriend inquired about my spiritual
                   beliefs, and I responded that yes, I thought that music was a sacred,
                   religious thing; one way of perceiving my view of what God is. From then
                   on, we were free to talk about religion, but if it became too controversial
                   for a new relationship, we would just discuss something else, like religious
                   music.

                   Having a central common interest is great, but it is not the center of both
                   our lives as individuals. While he performs and composes music as a
                   career, I have a career focused on writing and editing. This gives us our
                   artistic space with a complete common ground.

                   If you find someone with a similar interest, you can use that interest as a
                   safe topic for discussion. It's an easy and fun way to get to know an
                   intriguing person. If you're on a date and you hit upon a common interest,
                   don't worry about discussing it too much! Similar interests are safe ground
                   in the world of dating. At the very least, you will learn even more about
                   something you care deeply for. If you're lucky like me, you will also learn
                   to care deeply about someone.
 

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