Awkward's
Worst Enemy:
Similar
Interest Dating
No matter where you search for that hot date or how you go about
searching, you're bound to come up with one of those awkward dates.
The silent dates, where conversation seems to have vanished into
negative space.
Finding someone with similar interests has made all of the difference for
me. When my boyfriend (of seven months) and I were getting to know
each other, there weren't any awkward moments. It seemed easy to
maintain an honest relationship, even on our first date. Why was this?
What was there, aside from our initial chemistry?
Similar interests. My boyfriend is a Music Education major at an arts
school, and I'm a Music minor at a liberal arts college. Whenever there
was an awkward moment, we'd talk about music. I learned that he
enjoyed playing jazz, a style that I knew little about. He learned about
my
songwriting skills, and about my guitars. Our interest was not exactly
the
same, but most definitely similar. Because we areto different types
of music, we are constantly learning from each other. This has become
the secret to a successful relationship for us. If we're out for a long
car
ride or waiting for a train, we always have something to discuss. Music
is
also a neutral territory; our beliefs on it differ but not enough that
we do
more than slightly disagree upon it.
This common interest has framed our relationship. We've expanded greatly
upon that. When we first met, my boyfriend inquired about my spiritual
beliefs, and I responded that yes, I thought that music was a sacred,
religious thing; one way of perceiving my view of what God is. From then
on, we were free to talk about religion, but if it became too controversial
for a new relationship, we would just discuss something else, like religious
music.
Having a central common interest is great, but it is not the center of
both
our lives as individuals. While he performs and composes music as a
career, I have a career focused on writing and editing. This gives us our
artistic space with a complete common ground.
If you find someone with a similar interest, you can use that interest
as a
safe topic for discussion. It's an easy and fun way to get to know an
intriguing person. If you're on a date and you hit upon a common interest,
don't worry about discussing it too much! Similar interests are safe ground
in the world of dating. At the very least, you will learn even more about
something you care deeply for. If you're lucky like me, you will also learn
to care deeply about someone.
Writing Main
All writing is copyright its
author, 2002.
|